Rob Brezsny is to astrology columns what a shot of vodka is to a glass of cranberry juice--he adds some bite, flavor and fun to the proceedings, and reading his insights may even give you a bit of a buzz. If you're into astrology, you've undoubtedly heard of Rob's Free Will Astrology column. But if you don't usually care what's up with your sign, check out what Rob has to say before skipping to another section:

"The typical astrology column tells you in dead language how to become a more efficient greed-head and narcissist imbued with the faux morality of the marketplace. My column, on the other hand, urges you to get happy by overthrowing reality. I've tried to turn it into a vehicle for sociopolitical rabble-rousing and an extended poetic discourse on erotically correct spirituality."

"In any given week I can make up fake commercials for products that don't exist but should exist. I can talk about a dream I've had in which Scorpios throw a pajama party for the Dalai Lama in Bosnia. Or I can offer wild speculations about how the latest plan by quantum physicists to launch celebrity garbage into inner space is related to my new theory about macho feminism, which is related to the rise of crystal-gazing, aura-reading capitalists in Poland, which is related to the experiences I think your sign is going to have in the week ahead."