Training manual in hand, Richard Knight Jr. chronicles the behavioral requirements of department store Kris Kringles.
Even now, despite a cynical society that should probably know better, certain parent-child rituals still have the power to silence the naysayers. Yes, the conservative right has put the kibosh on kids dressed up as devils and witches during Halloween - at least during school hours. The Easter Bunny might think twice about visiting the White House unannounced, and then there is that poor creature with the easy to mock title: the tooth fairy. When the phrase "clap your hands if you believe in fairies" brings to mind show tune night at Sidetrack, where does that leave the king of childhood icons: dear old St. Nick?
Santa has taken more hits than all the others. There he is, in the pages of Playboy, surrounded by a group of busty elves. Or wielding an ax, ready to make mince pies of his victims in "Silent Night, Deadly Night" and killing those who've been naughty in "Christmas Evil." There are drunken Santas, sexy Santas, Santas shaking their hips, playing golf, drinking at the local tavern in beer ads, busy interacting with angels played by Della Reese and Roma Downey. With the Age of Innocence long since passed, there is also something a bit queasy about the thought of a grown man putting an eager child upon his knee and saying with a twinkle in his eye, "What do you want for Christmas?" Not too hard to come up with a naughty answer to that one, Big Red.
But somehow, the mythic power of Santa Claus can still cut through the commercialism, stop the mind from automatically thinking up the nasty rejoinder. Our society of Scrooges is overwhelming, but when that little kid comes around the corner and sees Santa up there on his throne and believes, no hostile force on Earth can withstand it. It's a parent-child ritual that remains sacrosanct.
Sandra Majestic knows this. She's been busy getting everything ready for the kids since early September, about the time they were getting their new back-to-school shoes. Her company, Majestic Photo Promotions, has the task of herding thousands of children through the ceremonial visit with the Marshall Field's Santa, having their photo snapped (if so desired, with pictures starting at $9.95 for one 5x7), and sending them home with the reassurance that, yes Virginia, there is still a Santa Claus.
Early each October, Majestic begins interviewing potential Santas and Santa helpers from a pool of "about 200." That figure is whittled down to eighty-five, with twenty-five or thirty eventually becoming Santas. After a two-day training (which includes role playing, trying on the suit, and viewing previous Santas for a minimum of four hours), the Santas work in four-and-a-half- to six-hour shifts of two per throne per day. They are paid $8-$12 an hour and are available for special events for $100-$500. Having missed out on the ritual as a child, the time seemed to have come to get in the claustrophobic line that winds around to the left and the right past a Christmas forest, laden with presents, before reaching the Cozy Cloud Cottage, where Santa spends his days at the State Street Marshall Field's. Augmenting the experience are instructions from the "Santa Training Pack." When you reach the head of the line, one of Santa's red-vested helpers escorts those waiting into one of the three Santa "sets."
The sets are identical in décor. Santa sits on a large wooden throne on a pine green velvet pad, with a bottle of water placed discreetly within reach. Frosted Christmas trees with bows, shiny gold balls and pinecones, are placed on either side. The overall impact is that of a traditional Bavarian lodge—without the deer antlers. And the focal point of the set is Santa. "As the 'personality' around which the Santa photo program revolves, Santa has a major role, and to the children he'll be talking to, he's got the [major role]. He is the highlight of the children's day. He is the star." —from the Santa Training Pack.
Although the sets are nearly identical, one is larger and has breakaway walls to accommodate large groups of children or those with special needs. No child going through the line is aware that at any given time there may be three Santas on duty. Although most of the Santas are white, there are African-American and Latino Santas as well and, if they are on duty, the helpers will direct parents and children to the desired Santa. Our sixty minutes with Santa (portrayed by actor Michael Thomas) begins at 4:25pm with little Emily.
4:25
Little Emily enters to see Santa, led in by Vickie, Santa's helper. Santa: "Have you been good this year?" Emily does not look sure, stares at Santa, then back at her mother, who gently places her in Santa's lap. Emily immediately screams. Mother: "Mama's gonna stay right here." She sits down next to Santa. Emily screams and screams. Mother: "That's Santa Claus, don't you know Santa Claus?" Emily is having none of it. The photo is quickly taken.
4:26
Santa: "Bye bye." Emily looks at him and again begins to cry.
"A good visit lasts about one minute with Santa." —from the Santa Training Pack
4:27
"Madeline just turned two yesterday," Vickie says, as she escorts the little girl and her mother into the room. Madeline wears a green and black velvet dress, white stockings and shiny black patent leather shoes that reflect the fluorescent lights. Santa: "Look at that pretty dress." Madeline has pigtails. She will not smile for the camera. Mom: "Smile, honey, like you did yesterday at Chuck E. Cheese." Santa: "What do you want this year? Tinkie Winkie?" Santa guesses, hopefully. Madeline nods. Santa: "I can feel your heart beating, are you nervous?" She nods. Mother on way out of room to Santa: "Say hi to Rudolph, Santa." To Madeline: "Want to give Santa a quick kiss goodbye?"
4:29
Madeline does. She hugs and kisses Santa.
4:29
Olivia and Stephan, in stroller, enter with parents. Olivia blows kisses to Santa. Santa: "My lucky day! Do you want to sit with Santa?" Olivia: "No, no!" Mom and dad sit with Santa, each holding child. Sheree, the photographer helper says "Say cheese" and rings Christmas bell attached to stuffed toy. Santa: "They're doing great." Olivia wears multi-colored jacket and pants, as does her brother. They thank Santa as they leave.
4:32
Santa: "See, Santa's not such a bad guy."
4:33
Mandy, Daily, Madison, Emily, Jack and Holly enter the room and make a beeline for Santa. These kids are a bit older and aren't the least shy about approaching Santa and plying him with questions: "Look at your big beard, how long did it take to grow?"; "Did you come from the North Pole today?"; "How do you come down the chimney?"
"Always use evasive answers." - from the Santa Training Pack
Santa briefly answers the battery of questions and then proceeds with the one the kids have been waiting for.
"'What do you want for Christmas?'... The age-old question is always good. Listen carefully to their answers." —from the Santa Training Pack
The combined list of all five respondents includes Pokémon toys seemingly in any shape or form, "Star Wars" figurines, a Giga pet, an American Girl doll, clothes, furniture and accessories, and two makeup kits. Holly alone reels off a list of at least ten items in a tiny, piping voice.
4:35
Santa: "Let's take a picture, shall we?" All five tots group around him and smile for the multitude of cameras that the adults have produced, turning to smile in the direction of each camera without being told. Dad: "Kids, what are we gonna leave for the reindeer?" Santa: "A carrot? They get jealous when I come out with cookie crumbs in my beard." He chuckles to himself, but the kids are already heading for the door.
4:37
Ashley and Elizabeth are escorted in. Both are wearing red felt reindeer antlers on their heads. Santa: "Look out Rudolph!" A bit older, like the previous group, they do not hesitate to approach Santa and sit on his lap.
"Santa Leg Lift: It is recommended that Santa straighten out his leg, letting the youngster sit upon it as he brings it back to a sitting position. Practice this." —from the Santa Training Pack
One girl in long-sleeved white T-shirt chews on gum and nods her head when Santa queries "Have you been good?" The Ashley/Elizabeth wish list: Barbie, books and clothes for the gum chewer. "Things to match your antlers," Santa asks? Gum chewer nods her head yes and smiles. Dad: "How 'bout a car for me, Santa?"
"Remember, Santa never, ever promises." —from the Santa Training Pack
Santa: "We'll have to see. A matchbox, perhaps? How about for you, Mom?" Mom: "I don't know." Entire family poses for photo.
4:47
Sharnay, a girl, and Tyshawn, a baby boy, are now brought in by Vickie, along with four women, who immediately put them in Santa's lap. Woman No. 1: "We don't want no pacifier for the picture." She steps in and takes the pacifier out of Tyshawn's mouth and then commands "Now you smile. Look at me baby." Sheree rings bell. All the women entreat Tyshawn to "smile, smile." The word "smile" is said seventeen times. Tyshawn does not smile but has the dazed and confused look familiar to babies and stoners. The photo is snapped.
4:48
Woman No. 3 steps in and tries to get Tyshawn to smile, tickling him. Tyshawn's expression does not change. Woman No.3: "Catherine, you come and ring the bell, maybe he'll smile then." Catherine (Woman No. 2) rings bell. Tyshawn does not smile. Woman No. 4: "Oh, he is too over this."
4:49
Santa has said nothing as of yet, wisely allowing the women clustering around him to take charge.
"Watch parent for signal. Be patient." —from the Santa Training Pack
Woman No.1 is losing her patience: "All right, Tyshawn, no cereal for you." Woman No. 3: "He's just not right." Catherine from behind camera: "We could get another one. You get two poses. So make him smile." She glances at photo on computer monitor and adds "ain't neither one smiling." Tyshawn reaches up and yanks hard on Santa's beard. Catherine: "He's goin' for Santy's beard—grab him!"
"On occasion, a child may do something disconcerting, such as tug on Santa's beard or wig. Seek the folks' help when necessary." —from the Santa Training Pack
4:50
Santa deflects Tyshawn's grab and addresses Sharnay: "What do you want for Christmas?" She shakes head, can't think of anything. Santa says goodbye.
4:51
As they exit Woman No. 1 says "I told you he wouldn't smile, he never does, damn it."
4:52
Mary, Annie, Lisa, Jimmy and Alex trot in. Mother: "Let's just have them all stand around you." Santa: "Have you all been good this year?" "Yes." "How's school?" "Fine." "Have you been learning a lot?" "Yes." Kids answer all questions in unison until Santa gets to their toy list, which includes Barbie cash register, Barbie computer games, American Girl dolls, clothes, accessories and furniture, Pokémon toys in any shape or form, computer games and Giga pets. Mom: "I want a mansion."
4:53
During break, before next visitors, Santa addresses me: "How's the newspaper business?" "Good," I say. Santa: "Santa likes Newcity. Santa reads it every week."
"Never say 'I'... Santa should always speak of himself as 'Santa' or 'Santa Claus.' Say, 'Well, Santa knows you want to be a real good boy.'" —from the Santa Training Pack.
4:59
Sam and Brandy come in with grandmother, who immediately takes control.
"Be understanding and patient." —from the Santa Training Pack
Grandmother: "OK, one at a time—up on Santa's lap. We want a close up like that one on the wall." She turns to Sam, now sitting on Santa's lap. "Smile Sam," she commands. "Say macaroni." Sam says nothing but smiles big. Wants Power Rangers stuff. Brandy, the girl, next approaches Santa proclaiming "I got Ariel on." Santa: "Oh, you like The 'Little Mermaid'?" Brandy nods and goes into her list: Barbie doll, Barbie phone, Barbie clothes. "Anything else?" "Sunglasses." Santa: "You'll be like a movie star, like Elizabeth Taylor." He chuckles to himself. Hands the child a Santa button. "What do you say?" grandma demands of the kids, who squeak out "Thank you." "And what else?" Kids look panicked. "Merry... " grandmother begins to prompt. Brandy and Sam remember: "Merry Christmas, Santa."
5:02
Grandmother looks at computer monitor, addresses Sheree, "That's the first or the second shot? Where's the first?" She looks at first shot. "OK, OK, I guess that'll do. Can you zoom it up? Ya, OK, all right, the second'll do. Let's go, kids."
5:05
Megan, Maureen, Michael, Patrick and Jimmy, all in Christmas sweaters, enter and, without any help, begin reeling off their list of wants. One child says something that is hard to understand, and mother, who is paying rapt attention, addresses Santa with concern: "What did she say?" "Stuff to write on your clothes," the little girl repeats, as if explaining to a slow, heavy animal on a chain. Mother looks dumbfounded. A sixth child, asleep in father's arms, is placed with Santa. Dad laughs at this and takes pictures and comments "We're gonna leave you mom's special homemade cookies, Santa. Hey Patrick, tell him what happened last year." Patrick: "Last year your reindeer knocked over our chairs." Santa apologizes. "Watch those chairs this year, Santa," dad jokes, as group walks out.
"Don't run the risk of offending parents or confusing children." —from the Santa Training Pack
5:07
Claire and Kevin walk in. Claire is 8, still a believer, while Kevin, at 11, is obviously on the fence. Claire wants a Gameboy and Kevin a trampoline. Santa to Kevin: "Anything else?" "No." Santa: "And you and your sister never fight, do you?" Dad: "No." Kevin: "Yes." Dad, firmly: "I said 'No.'" Santa: "Everybody in the picture?" Dad: "Yes." Kevin: "No." Dad: "I said 'Yes,' Kevin."
5:11
Next, a little boy enters with his sister. He has brought a written list and rattles off a long list for himself, his sister and their dog, "a chocolate Lab." Santa, at conclusion of the reading of the list: "My goodness, anything else?" Kid nods his head. "A baby girl."
"Santa's answer should be similar to this: 'I'm just the fellow that brings the gifts. That's out of my department.'" —from the Santa Training Pack
Santa: "You'll have to talk to Mommy and Daddy about that one."
5:21
Evan wants Nintendo games. His sister Kayleen is ready with her list: "I want a Britney Spears and Ricky Martin CD." Santa: "Oh, you like music?" "Ricky Martin dances good," little Kayleen answers, stepping off Santa's lap.
"No matter what the child does, stay cheerful and positive." —from the Santa Training Pack
Santa: "Ricky Martin, well, we'll have to see about that."
"Santa never promises to bring a certain gift!" —from the Santa Training Pack
copyright 1999 New City Communications, Inc.