You just wanna bitch-slap him silly. But don't blame him. Blame corporate America. Did somebody say McDonald's?
His name may not ring a bell, but John Caponera's voice is unavoidable on the Chicago radio dial and local television airwaves. He's the stereotypical "ideal" of the Chicago Everyman, cousin to Chris Farley's (Da) Bears fan from "Saturday Night Live." Spin the radio dial from 87.9 to 107.9, flip your remote control from WBBM to WGN and you're bound to hear him, yammering on, pitching Michael Jordan's new book and Big Macs in the very same breath. And before he can say "Each year they dye the Chicago River green," you change the station in a stealthy maneuver that would make even the Hamburglar proud. These commercials are downright annoying enough to piss off any self-respecting Chicagoan.
But the real-life Caponera isn't as bad as the nuisance he portrays. While he's a born and bred product of the South Side, his accent isn't nearly as imbued with the brat and beer embellishment of his "character." And, uh, he's a damned nice guy. Shit.
"No, I don't really talk like that," says the 42-year-old comedian, who started as a bartender at Zanies in 1979, opening for comics between making drinks. "I don't say things like 'a sangwich for tree-ninety nine,' and 'for da love a da game.'"
But even after living in Los Angeles for thirteen years, Caponera still has an unmistakable Chi-town twang. It was following a bizarrely coveted appearance on "Star Search" that Caponera's own star began to shine - he was competing against, of all people, Jenny Jones. Caponera lost, but his career was on the rise, right up to the pinnacle of the Golden Arches.
"I'm not really worried about overexposure from those commercials," he says. "They only play in Chicago. The rest of the country doesn't know me as that McDonald's guy."
During the rest of the year, the comedian tours the comedy circuit, toting his own batch of street-savvy smart-ass to smoke filled rooms coast-to-coast. He also operates a web site at http://www.chicagojohn.com/, where he pitches his own comedy CDs and offers "jokes of the week." But just when you begin to like John Caponera, he informs you of the worst. "I just signed on to do another year with McDonald's."
(Sam Weller)
copyright 1999 New City Communications, Inc.