THE AIR-CONDITIONED CHURCH CHEAT SHEET

Allen Smalling


In New York in the summer, you've got to have air conditioning -- "The Seven Year Itch."

In Chicago, too. If you're new here, watch out: It's gonna get hot and humid. Maybe not right away, but some time between now and mid-July, the Windy City shifts over from a Yankee Kiev to Calcutta-on-the-Lake. Unfortunately, most of the city's churches, rich and poor alike, were built 100 years ago and have climate control systems from that era. Even churches built as late as the 1960s lack a/c.

But we think that if cleanliness is next to godliness, then sweatiness is the work of the devil. So we've has scouted out a wide variety of worship venues that have one thing in common: central air conditioning. Below are our favorites, and, as always, we've ranked them competitively. "Liturgy" means the excellence of the worship and music arts. "User-friendliness" means how welcome you're made to feel and how easily you can follow the goings-on as a first-time visitor. "Transport" takes into account the relative ease of parking and the availability of public transit. A "Eucharist" means the service includes communion, otherwise we call it "Worship."

St. James Episcopal Cathedral, 65 East Huron, (312)787-7360. Informal Eucharist: 9am; Sung Eucharist: 11am.
A cathedral is where the Bishop sits, which makes St. James pretty much Home Central for the region's Episcopalians. St. James is a good, large church with an enchanting gilded interior that belies its cathedral moniker. Of the two services, the 9am is informal and geared toward families with children; a church official describes the 11 o'clock service as "full-bore, the whole megillah" in terms of smells and bells (that is, more high church). Our Order of Worship included the hymns, and not having to juggle the hymnbook made following the goings-on a lot easier. The Red Line is fairly close, as are two subsidized parking lots.
Liturgy: 8
User-friendliness: 7
Transport: 7
Total: 22

Broadway United Methodist Church, 3341 North Broadway, (773)348-2679. Worship: 8:15 and 10:40am.
Brick for brick, this is probably one of the best-known churches in America. It is home to the Rev. Gregory Dell, who was removed from his pulpit in the Spring of 1999 for having performed a holy union ceremony (or so-called "gay wedding") between two members of the church. (Dell will be reinstated July; until then this pulpit is held by the Rev. Jenny Weber.) Worship here is classically Methodist: warm-hearted, with a distinct social-justice orientation. Needless to say, Broadway U. Meth. has a well-deserved reputation as a safe haven for gays and lesbians. You'll be surprised how substantial a sanctuary fits into this modest building; this worship space is fitted out with warm earth tones, angular brick and good sight lines. Musician-ship is first-rate, and the thinly-attended 8:15 service receives just as much loving care as the "main" 10:40 service.
Liturgy: 7
User-friendliness: 8
Transport: 6
Total: 21

Midwest Bible Church, 3441 North Cicero, (773)685-6500. Worship: 10:45am.
Most churches that call themselves "Bible Churches" are conservative, and, indeed, the first thing that confronted this visitor was an anti-abortion poster in the church lobby. Other than that, though, Midwest did not belabor politics as much as practical evangelical theology. The typical service is a "sandwich" of congregational singing of hymns put up on a large overhead projector alternating with spoken elements like prayer, bible readings and announcements. The sermon was vivid -- a good thing, because it lasted half an hour. The congregation comes from all over the Northwest Side and, in particular, the blue-collar "bungalow belt." The church has its own parking lot (which does get crowded -- come a few minutes early); the Cicero bus line runs by the building, and the Addison and Belmont lines are close.
Liturgy: 5
User-friendliness: 7
Transport: 8
Total: 20

Northminister Presbyterian Church, 2515 Central Park, Evanston, (847)869-9210. Worship: 9:30am.
On a street that looks like it sprang wholly formed out of Norman Rockwell or "Leave It To Beaver," stands this beautiful mock cathedral with its "fleche" (arrow) spire, rose window and courtyard. Northminsterites have a good thing going and they know it: These well-dressed, well-heeled suburbanites support a variety of causes, everything from Central American relief to an "I Have a Dream" project for Evanston's disadvantaged youth. If you grew up in a "mainline" Protestant denomination like the UCC, Methodists, Disciples or Northern Baptists, you'll feel at home with the liturgy, although the individual worship elements may be situated differently (and don't forget to say "Forgive us our debts" instead of "trespasses" in the Lord's Prayer). The minister is droll, the sanctuary is carpeted, and the pews are cushioned. The coffee is in real cups unless the weather's too hot; then they serve lemonade on the lawn. Posh. Parking on-street is easy but the buses don't run on Sunday.
Liturgy: 8
User-friendliness: 7
Transport: 5
Total: 20

Family Harvest Church, 18500 92nd Ave., Tinley Park, (708)614-6000. Worship: 8:45 and 10:30am.
Ten years ago, there wasn't much to this stretch of I-80 between Homewood and Joliet besides farmland. Now it's the southern end of Chicago's southwest suburbs, and filling in fast. Family Harvest is a 5,000-member megachurch that has successfully fused Pentecostal and Gospel elements with an Evangelical, success-oriented strategy embodied in its senior minister, Robb Thompson. Services last an hour and a half, and are centered around Thompson's sermons. It is simply amazing to watch him strut his stuff: He operates noteless, working up a rapport with the congregation as he skitters through the Bible, tossing off quotations and looking up citations without so much as a sticky tab to help him. Everyone brings a Bible (everyone! when I was there the lady next to me lent he hers), and the congregation furiously annotates Thompson's many biblical references. The 10:30 a.m. service includes a gospel choir -- a real plus. There are acres of free parking (Hooray for suburbia!), but no public transportation.
Liturgy: 8
User-friendliness: 7
Transport: 5
Total: 20

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