Elaine Richardson

"Why are all these damn people at the mall?" a twentysomething yells to her friend as they exit a rickety Pontiac and go slip-sliding down the barely plowed ramp toward the elevator in one of the many parking garages at Oakbrook Terrace mall. "It's snowing."

Yep, but that doesn't stop us. We're Chicagoans, damn it -- a hardy, Midwestern people who frequently and valiantly brave snow and wind and cold. Besides, if we didn't, there'd be no holiday gifts and, well, we just can't have that.

But the procrastinators hauling it around Oakbrook -- which, like Old Orchard, is one of those "outdoor" malls -- are taking it in the rear this year. The massive amount of pre-winter snow means hiking in and out of every store is not only damn cold, but wet, and slippery. While the employees in the Mont Blanc store stand around and dust the pens, those outside succumb to frustration.

"No, I lost the keys," a harried man screams into his cell phone as he whips past Mark Shale. "If I had the keys I wouldn't be calling." Pause. "Yes, I know it's snowing, but there's only four days left."

Inside Marshall Field's a crowd huddles, searching the street for rides, while the Salvation Army bell ringer has taken her act inside, sitting on one of the warm benches near the theater, ringing away. "Why aren't you outside?" one man asks as he drops cash into her bucket.

The bell ringer's look is pure ice. "I'm not stupid," she says. "Besides, there's more people with money in here than there are out there."

(2000-12-28)

Also by Elaine Richardson

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(2000-12-21)

VIDEO ZONE
Even with cable, you're in for a night of round-the-world New Year's parties, stupid commentary, cruddy movies and soft-core porn. Spare yourself the agony with a little planning ahead and lay in a couple apropos videotapes (or DVDs if you're so equipped). Here's a few you might consider.
(2000-12-21)

ON LINE
The early bird gets the $90 DVD player on the day after Thanksgiving -- that's what the sale sheets say. Of course, it's easy to walk in, but getting out is something else entirely.
(2000-11-30)

EASY MONEY?
In today's consumer-credit environment, in which so many are simply trying to dig themselves out of debt, what do you do if you have an immediate expense you can't cover?
(2000-11-23)

DOLLAR SIGNS
(2000-11-23)

THE BIG 3-0
(2000-11-16)

DRINK AND BE MERRY
(2000-11-16)

RESTAURANT REVIEW
(2000-08-24)

COUNTER CULTURE
(2000-08-10)

STORMY WEATHER II
(2000-08-03)

TV PARTY
(2000-07-27)

POLITICAL INSIDER
(2000-06-22)

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