Michael Nagrant

I have a Ford Escape—non-hybrid. I’ve toyed with getting rid of it, but with a 1- year-old son requiring trips to the doctor and daycare, all in a child-safety seat, a carless existence is still a few years away. Still, in an effort to keep my gas guzzling and emissions to a minimum when the bambino isn’t around, I recently decided to resurrect an old motor scooter from my parents’ garage in Michigan.

Due to my younger brother’s penchant for agro-scooter riding, popping wheelies and crash-landing when he was a 16-year-old punk, these days it’s a sorry-looking thing featuring cracked body panels and a kickstand held up by a bungee cord during operation. Also, riding on a scooter as a stocky adult makes me feels oddly like the Incredible Hulk riding on top of a Matchbox car.

But the scooter’s still a much more efficient machine than my Escape. Unfortunately, getting it street legal in the nanny state of Chicago means fording lots of bureaucracy. I knew that I’d need to hit the Secretary of State to secure a license and a title, but then I found out I also needed a city motorcycle tag.

While I believe the use of Chicago streets is a public right, and I don’t understand why the city can’t seem to maintain them solely from their bloated tax base and other greedy fee-based revenue-collection programs (red-light cameras, meter-maid ticket recon), I’m not totally opposed to the vehicle sticker program. While the city surely has no green motivations, I understand that by compelling Chicagoans to plunk down an annual $75-$120 for the right to operate their car might act as a deterrent to some folks or, at the very least, it subsidizes more repair and cleaning of our streets.

What I don’t understand is why the city also taxes folks who are trying to reduce their carbon footprint? You’d think the city would love it if everyone shifted to scooters and motorcycles. It might open up the parking situation, reduce pollution and relieve the gas crunch. But, alas, the city wants you to fork over $45 for that right, more than half the cost of a car sticker for a vehicle at most a third of the size. The way I see it, the city should consider giving me a tax break, not charging me for my efforts.

I know there are some bicyclists who are probably thinking, would you like some cheese with that whine? But, you know what, you’re next. The vehicle sticker program has its origins in an 1891 campaign idea of Mayor Carter Harrison. Back then there were a lot more bikes and horse-drawn carriages, and those bikes were subject to a wheel tax by 1907. The program was dropped as cars became more popular and lucrative, but with the current economic downturn and continued budget shortfalls, the city, and the county (in February they almost added a $40 fee on top of the Chicago vehicle sticker fee for all Cook County residents) are always looking for creative means of generating cash. With millions of bikes in the city, it’s only a matter of time before somebody spies another opportunity.

(2008-07-01)

Also by Michael Nagrant

Just Ducky
When you see a gaggle of glistening glazed ducks hanging sentry over hotel pans full of steaming tripe and bell jars filled with fried chicken skin, you know you’ve found a good Chinese BBQ spot. Actually, I know I’m probably in the minority on this one. It’s more likely most folks, who’ve come to believe their meat is born in Cryovac plastic or waxed-butcher-paper-wrapped bundles, would more likely see this scene at Sun Wah BBQ as an outtake from a Wes Craven horror flick
(2008-06-24)

Snapper in the City
There are two stories how the recipe came to The Drake, both based on the idea that both Bookbinders and The Drake catered to entertainers, royalty and political dignitaries
(2008-06-17)

Hangin' with Mr. Cooper
If Jose Cuervo is the patron saint of bad judgment and horrid hangovers, then Ron Cooper, purveyor of Del Maguey Mezcal, is the angel of discretion and good taste. Though sometimes his is a case of “Do as say, not as I do.” On the morning I interview Cooper, he chain-smokes and squints in the morning light falling over Oak Street near the Newberry Library, his eyes rimmed by puffy bags. As a spirits professional, Cooper has no shortage of drinking buddies, and a few of them kept him out late after a tasting at Binny’s South Loop the night before
(2008-06-10)

Bowles Breaks Out
With his fierce tattoos, imposing frame and black lacquer glasses, chef Graham Elliot Bowles looks like the lovechild of Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo and a bouncer from a death-metal bar. However, the aggressive-looking “innocence” tattoo on his left forearm is more a reflection of the artist who also did ink for Pantera than of Bowles’ true personality. As Bowles says, “I look like I’m ready to hurt someone, when I really just want to cry on their shoulder”
(2008-06-03)

Dipping in the L20
(2008-05-20)

The Real World
(2008-05-20)

Unswayed
(2008-05-13)

Partners in Crime
(2008-05-06)

Tapped Out?
(2008-04-29)

Dancing with Tripe
(2008-04-22)

Green-Market Dorks
(2008-04-15)

Cinful
(2008-04-08)

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