Kevin Baum

The forecast is clear and sunny, with a high of fifty-four degrees and a low of thirty-five... perfect weather to walk eighteen holes. But leave your clubs at home, because this isn't your average round of golf--this is bar golf--the Seventh Annual St. Pat's Bar Golf Pub Crawl.

Organized by UW-Madison alums Courtney Quaye and Chris McComas, and covering eighteen bars in nine hours, the pub crawl begins at noon sharp at The Sports Corner in Wrigleyville, and ends at Stanley's in Lincoln Park, or the "Clubhouse" to veteran crawlers--with each bar being visited for a half an hour. The aforementioned commissioners shout "five minutes!" before "next bar!" to keep the 150 or so crawlers in motion when it's time to move on. Scoring is done by the individual (reliant on the honor system) and is as follows: everyone gets a scorecard and, at each bar, one drink is par and every subsequent drink brings you one under par.

At the fourth, Cubby Bear, Chris Evan--who's already shooting a cool two under par--professes, "I thought I might be an alcoholic, so I waited till today to prove it to myself." Fast forward to the fourteenth hole, John Barleycorn in Lincoln Park, where Dan Prescott destroys a Jager Bomb, putting him at a sweet four under (the course record is nineteen under). "I'm here to win," proclaims Prescott behind a pair of sleek white sunglasses... indoors.

It's now 9pm, and everyone's at Stanley's, and the precious handful of people who have made it from start to finish are rewarded with bragging rights, drunken smiles and, ultimately, vicious hangovers. Fore!

(2007-03-20)

Also by Kevin Baum

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To most, willfully leaving a colorful, dry, clement establishment and entering an achromatic, chilling, "my-socks-are-wet-through-my-shoes" evening would seem utterly unappealing. But on Sunday it's easy to see on the elated faces of those at 826 Chicago, author Dave Eggers' non-profit writing and tutoring center on Milwaukee Avenue, that this event is drowning out the insipid weather
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