Molly Sullivan

I wholeheartedly feel for those men who break up with women by email or over voicemail, figuring out when they won't be home so they can avoid "the talk." I'm one of them, the female version, and I'm sure there are more of my kind out there. A number of times I have just stopped talking to guys, hoping they would put the rest together. Since I never referred to them as boyfriends, I figured it I wasn't required to break up with them.

A few years back I began dating a guy from Japan who eventually wanted me to meet his family. A trip to Japan costs a thousand dollars or so; he wanted to pay and that can make a girl's reasoning get a little cloudy. Apparently flying to Japan and meeting the parents equals a serious relationship--for me, this bit of information didn't translate.

During the next year or so, I considered calling it quits, using the phrase "we need to take a break." Saying "break up" tends to bring on fighting and begging so I hoped he would realize that a break is just a nicer version of a breakup. I was soon spending a few months in New York and my boyfriend surprised me by buying a ticket to visit. My reaction was an unenthused "oh," which isn't the worst response, but is pretty high on the list. I believe "no" is the only one ahead of it. I spent a few weeks convincing myself I was excited, but thinking about this guy spending almost a thousand dollars to see me when I was pretty happy on my own only made me bite my nails.

The tricky thing about New York is that there are a lot, a whole lot, of jewelry shops. This inspires some people. Passing one, he asked me how I felt about "promise rings." I rolled my eyes. He confessed he "really kind of liked the idea." Unfortunately, I just don't understand the point. If getting engaged is the same thing--and it pretty much is--then why add another step? Plus, I lose rings, take them off to wash my hands somewhere and never see them again. I'm just not one of those ring girls.

Standing at the curb the morning he was leaving, he said he could see us living here someday--together. I decided to not be the girl who broke up with her boyfriend over the phone or through an email. And when you see your last chance sometimes you just have to get out. The shuttle pulled up, his bags were in and I spit out "We need to break up" and "Have a safe flight," as if no other sentences were more made for each other. In hindsight, I suppose doing this over the phone would have been more economical.

Ending things like this, I'm sure I have a huge karmic lesson coming my way. The last guy I cut loose found out when I said we could get together later that night--I went out with friends instead and never called him back. I guess we should be happy if a guy at least goes through the trouble of actually telling you it's over--and just hope you never have to spend a grand to find out.

(2007-02-06)

Also by Molly Sullivan

Global Flavors
The Hideout is under the glow of the twinkling lights, for a night of storytelling--the crowd gathers calmly, nestles in. Passing by the bar, those in search of a peaceful ambiance find the Make magazine release party in the back, comfortably filling the room as the readings from the fourth issue begin
(2007-01-30)

Dog City
ARFhouse, a no-kill shelter, moved into Bucktown just five months ago, and pairs up tonight with its new neighbor, three-and-a-half-month-old Red Dog House, an upscale pet boutique, to get the word out that they are both open and here to stay
(2007-01-23)

The Art Community
Everyone knows a picture is worth a thousand words, but how many words does it take to create a picture? At Caro D'Offay Gallery you need only a few words to describe what you want the picture to look like and the rest will be left up to interpretation as "The Colorist Chess" exhibition opens for public collaboration
(2007-01-16)

Maxim-um Attention
Ask most men and they will say that there isn't much that they love more than babes and booze--except maybe football and booze. Unfortunately, Maxim, Coors Light and Coyote Ugly Saloon find this out the hard way during their search for the next Maxim cover girl on Saturday night
(2007-01-09)

Portrait of a Man
(2006-12-19)

Choose Chomsky
(2006-12-12)

Oopsie Daisy
(2006-12-05)

Anime Marinara
(2006-11-28)

Machinehand
(2006-11-07)

Rolling Bling
(2006-10-17)

Only Connect
(2006-09-19)

Macy Day
(2006-09-12)

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