Brian Hieggelke

There's something right about a running event where the penultimate motivator is a tunnel pumping the "Rocky" theme shortly before the finish line. Especially when it's followed by fans cheering "first beer free!" As the runner approaches the starting line, the preponderance of beer bellies among the 10,000 participants assures him that this is not the typical race. And it's not. Nike slightly reconfigured its popular music run this year into the nineties-themed "Run Hit Remix." Confidently, the runner passes the various markers that group runners by speed: seven minutes (per mile, five miles in all), eight minutes, nine, ten... and settles into the eleven-minute group. Looking back, the runner sees the slowest group assembling under the twelve-minute sign.

And then they're off. At the first mile, Young MC, wearing a White Sox jersey, belts out the familiar strains of "Bust a Move." Some of the runners stop to pump hands in the air. The runner pauses for a minute, wondering if Young MC is simply going to play hits like a busker on repeat, but then resumes the run. By the time Digital Underground rings in mile two, the pace is set; runners maneuver around each other like Dale Earnhardt Jr. dueling Robby Gordon. Past the DJ, past the Elvis impersonator, past the cover band playing classic nineties tunes like "Sweet Home Alabama" (released in 1974) and past the U2 tribute band featuring a belly dancer; is that supposed to be Bono? After the finish, De La Soul takes the stage while beer and ribs replace any lost calories--and then some.

(2006-08-22)

Also by Brian Hieggelke

By Design
When Nike looks me up and offers to outfit me with their new Nike+iPod system, I'm skeptical
(2006-08-01)

Sand on the Brain
My imaginary summer postcard always features a beach and a beverage. No other season elicits such a flight of fancy, perhaps because no other season interests me much; all are just time's obstacles to summer
(2006-06-06)

Fanfare for the Uncommon Man
Harvey Pekar is one of the great storytellers of our time
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Life without Newspapers
I am a lifelong newspaper junkie. Growing up, my dad always read the newspaper, and when his dad was around, he read the newspaper. I understood implicitly that grownup men read newspapers
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Life without Newspapers
(2006-02-26)

Designer Toothpaste?
(2006-02-21)

Life without Newspapers
(2006-02-14)

Requiem for a Dream
(2005-12-06)

Hot Dish
(2005-11-29)

Costume conundrums
(2005-11-01)

Fan fare for the Common Man
(2005-10-25)

Ticket-Miser
(2005-10-18)

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