Fred Sasaki

Characters

DONA O'TOOLE, a fiery Black Irish wife.

MRS. JONES, a Swedish, heavyish, Martha Stewartish, happyish married woman.

All of the action takes over brunch at Nookies.

Scene

The two women are cradling coffee in their hands at the end of their meal. A dreadlocked waiter clears their table and both women look lasciviously at his veined forearms, his narrow waist, to the bulge in his khakis. They are momentarily transfixed before Mrs. Jones lapses back into conversation.

MRS. JONES: You know Mr. Jones and I have never really been...you know...passionate. I mean...we've been together since high school. High-school sweethearts (she says laughing). We've been together so long that I just can't remember anything else. I can't even imagine it. He's like my brother. I mean...it's great, I love him...but I wish I were the kind of woman that could have an affair. I wish I could cheat. I really do. It'd be...I don't know...exciting. Different, at least. But I just couldn't do it. I mean I could...but I know I just couldn't go through with it. I'm just not that kind of woman...I guess. I mean, it could only happen if...I mean, we've known each other so long it's like we're brother and sister. We're like...family. I've thought about this a lot, and I know it sounds bad ... but if he died--I'm not saying that I want him to die, but if he did--I think I'd be OK with it. I think it'd be OK. I think he would too. I mean if I died. That's just the way it is. It's not that I don't love him. I think it'd just be something that happened. I'd just go on.

DONA O'TOOLE: That's horrible. (She looks sincerely disturbed, then looks over to their waiter, at his shoulders, mid-back, and bubble butt.)

MRS. JONES: Oh, it's not so bad. You'll see. You've only been married, what, not even a year? You start to open yourself up to things. You'll see. And so much gets built up under the bridge. Like when I was pregnant, it was painful for me to have sex. We have sex every Sunday but, when I was pregnant, after a while it got to a point where it was so painful for me that he'd have to go finish himself in the bathroom. After a while we just stopped.

DONA O'TOOLE: Is that what I have to look forward to?

MRS. JONES: Oh, stop. It's not all that bad. You start to open yourself up to things. Like...you start seeing men differently. Kind of like you used to but...different. Like my son's surgeon...I saw him a lot during my pregnancy, and after little Aiden was born. He became...I don't know...like my prince, or knight in shining armor. I'd look forward to every visit. (She laughs wistfully.) He'd come in in that beautiful white coat, so clean and fresh and, oh, his hands were so cold and when he'd touch my hand or my arm the hairs on the back of my neck would stand up. (She shudders.) Oh, and when my son was older we'd hold him up between us to check his, I don't know, organs and lymph nodes and our knees would touch. Shivers would go through my whole body just from touching his knees. My knees have never been so sensitive. I'd wear skirts with no hose just so I could feel him more.

DONA O'TOOLE: Wow. (She is lost in thought, looking in the general direction of the waiter who is bending over to pick up a fallen fork.)

MRS. JONES: He's so handsome. He's got just wisps of grey above his ears. He had long, nice hands. And he has that stubble, like his masculinity is just pushing itself through his skin. I swear his glands or whatever are like...super pheromones or something. I never really liked musk before. But his smell makes...made me dizzy. (She suddenly shrugs and slumps her shoulders, sighing.) But you don't have that problem, do you? I mean, your man is so big and...beautiful. He really is just so big. How big is he?

DONA O'TOOLE: Uh, he's six-four.

MRS. JONES: Umm, right. I mean, is he, umm, big everywhere?

DONA MCKENZIE: Oh. Oh...let's just say that he's well...proportioned.

MRS. JONES: Hmmm.

(2006-03-28)

Also by Fred Sasaki

The Agony and the Ecstasy
Is this part of some Internet thing? What are you, swingers?
(2006-02-28)

The Agony and the Ecstasy
"We've got that animal lust thing going on, you know."
(2006-02-14)

Love and Sex: Waxing Poetic
My wife came home from the salon the other day with what looked like an angry bird between her legs. A little enraged, roseate, and dashed with baby powder, her bird winked at me in an unknown way and I suddenly realized that, after ten years together, I had never seen her so naked. She had had her first Brazilian Wax and I was soon to discover how glad I'd be about it
(2006-02-07)

The Agony and the Ecstasy
What are you talking about? Are you talking about prostitutes? My God. Gross.
(2005-12-13)

The Agony and the Ecstasy
(2005-10-25)

The Agony and the Ecstasy
(2005-10-04)

The Agony and the Ecstasy
(2005-09-27)

The Agony and the Ecstasy
(2005-08-23)

976-POET
(2005-07-26)

Animals of the Wild
(2005-05-24)

The Agony and the Ecstasy
(2005-04-26)

Conversation Hearts
(2005-03-15)

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