Mike Schramm

"Welcome to Michigan City, Indiana," says Mitch Laurance into the ESPN camera. He and his wife, Womens' Pro Billiards Association commentator (and player) Ewa Matya Laurance are taping television introductions for the final three matches in the Great Lakes Classic at the Blue Chip Hotel & Casino. Ewa's from Sweden, and in a sport where everyone has a nickname, she's the Striking Viking.

The first competition, which they introduce after-the-fact thanks to the magic of prerecorded television, is one of two semifinal matches. Vivian Villareal, the Texas Tornado, faces Jeanette Lee, the Black Widow. "This is gonna be a barnburner," says the MC, as the two ladies shoot pool in between TV timeouts. They push it to a 6-6 tie in a seven-match game, but in the end, Lee, named one of the "Dozen Most Attractive Female Athletes" by Aloette Cosmetics, misses a crucial shot and the Texas Tornado advances to the finals. "I'm just out there to have a good time," says Villareal, who revs the crowd up and trash talks as she plays. She's been playing in the WPBA for fourteen years, so she knows the drill by now.

The other semifinal match is between Kim White, a Texan just elected president of the WPBA by her peers, and Englishwoman Allison "The Duchess of Doom" Fisher, who, the MC says, is likely "the best female billiards player ever to pick up a cue." Fisher is a legend in the sport, with more wins than any other tournament player in history. Understandably, White is nervous, either because she's facing the Tiger Woods of womens' pool or because this is her first televised match. After White plays an early lead, Fisher runs away with the second semifinal, 7-4.

Which leaves the Duchess of Doom vs. The Texas Tornado for the championship. Fisher jumps early on to a 6-1 lead, and despite a few wins bolstered on by the small but loyal crowd, Villareal can't keep the champ from winning again. ESPN tapes the short trophy ceremony that, because of March Madness, won't air on cable until the middle of April.

(2006-03-21)

Also by Mike Schramm

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Star Scribe
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The Illustrated Life
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Amazing Story
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Don't they know there's a war on?
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