Mary Susan Littlepage

Hey! Mr. DJ

The first time I saw Paul Oakenfold, I saw a little more than I had expected: I saw his dick. Don't get the wrong idea, though. I'm no Oakie groupie, I swear.

It was spring '98, and progressive house and trance had not fully caught on in Chicago the way it had in other parts of the country. When Oakie came to Chicago, Thousand Words magazine was planning to put Oakie on the cover of its now-defunct dance-music magazine. Jennifer, a photographer for the mag, decided that she would take Oakie's picture at the Metro before he and Dave Ralph would DJ later that night.

In the Metro's basement we enjoyed drinking some free Heineken. Then Jennifer took some pics of Oakie sitting on a sofa, and then she took some pics of Oakie standing in a basement bathroom. Before Jennifer snapped photos, she had me help her by holding up some device that checks the lighting in the area. Then, as she was snapping photos, we heard a trickling sound.

My jaw dropped, and Jennifer and I fell over in laughter when we realized its source: Oakie had just unzipped his pants and peed into the toilet, apparently not giving a care that we could see him in full view. No pictures, though.

(2006-02-28)

Also by Mary Susan Littlepage

Spin Control
Thank goodness Meat Beat Manifesto fans are getting older: Fewer people will be stage diving and bruising me
(2006-02-21)

Tip of the Week
Back when DJ Misstress Barbara rocked the decks at Karma (R.I.P.) and Rednofive, she won over clubbers with what she called "drummy, funky, pumpin' techno"
(2006-02-07)

The Sweet Smell of Soy
There's a new buzz in the candle aisle. Soy wax, a biodegradable soybean byproduct, is moving in on paraffin and several local candle makers are hopping on the soybean bandwagon
(2005-08-03)

Flush with contentment
Gertrude Lias, 59, of the Pullman neighborhood, is working in Vision's biggest ladies' room, where she is part bathroom attendant and part doodads hustler
(2005-08-02)

Calling Aunt Jemima
(2005-07-05)

Taken to the Cleaners
(2005-05-17)

The Magic Klute
(2005-03-08)

Tip of the Week
(2005-02-15)

Special Requests
(2005-02-15)

Tip of the Week
(2005-01-25)

The Fast Lane
(2005-01-25)

Tip of the Week
(2005-01-04)

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