Michael Workman

By now you've heard about him, the "Pimp Dentist of Chicago," Gary Kimmel--my dentist. That's right, my dentist, now accused of laundering money for and intermingling his dentistry business with that of an international prostitution ring run out of the nine condos he owns in Marina Towers at 300 North State Street, of fixing the teeth of young women after they had them knocked in by their pimp, of selling underage girls into a life in the sex trade, AND who was busted by a national undercover child prostitution sting called "Innocence Lost"--has more than once had his fingers in my mouth. Holy fucking shit! At least you wore gloves, motherfucker! As ick factors go, this one registers pretty high on the scale. Not that I'm not already afraid of dentists with all their pointy-cutting things and cheerful willingness to drill holes in your bones, but now they're selling flesh too? Reading and listening to all the news reports changes everything I remember about visiting his office at 233 East Erie, a place I was referred to by my health insurance (thanks for the topnotch research!).

I remember a few things about his practice. His all-woman staff stands out, and the tacky electric waterfall executive chotchkes. His web site, now registering "service unavailable," at www.garyskimmelddsltd.com freaks me out now, especially the photo of this big pink man sitting with his smiling Asian wife and kids. I remember getting X-rays and listening as he explained the new system he'd ordered that would instantly transfer scans of your teeth onto a computer screen using technology less harmful than X-rays. I remember him talking about a new house he'd seen that he'd almost gone out and bought but couldn't convince his wife to like. I remember listening to him tell me this stuff and thinking, "Wow, dentistry must really pay well." But aside from all that, there were no real hints that Kimmel was anything but a decent person. And, as somebody who worked their way through university at a hospital, I've done time around the god-complex types, and that just wasn't Kimmel. He was jovial, talkative, friendly. It's strange having had any proximity to a person that twisted, because you think you'd suspect it, but like you always hear about crime from people in the news, you'd just never guess he was capable of that. And that creepy sensation of vulnerability leaves you feeling worse than you could've ever imagined before.

(2006-01-24)

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