Fred Sasaki

Characters

URBAN BELINO, an Italian stud-muffin.

URBAN PIXIE, a sprite-like designer girl.

All of the action takes place in a well-appointed Lakeview Starbucks.

SCENE: Urban Pixie sits alone at a table for two, reading the Arts section of the New York Times. She is drinking a grande soy latte with a flavor-shot of hazelnut. Urban Belino lifts his cappuccino from the serving tray and winks, "ciao," to the scowling barista. He scans the Starbucks and snickers upon seeing Urban Pixie. He slicks down his pomaded hair and struts towards her.

URBAN BELINO: Scusi, can I sit here with you? (He smirks down at her, raising his eyebrows.)

URBAN PIXIE: (Looking up from her newspaper) Umm, sure. No one's sitting there. (She continues to read.)

URBAN BELINO: So. You are reading your newspaper.

URBAN PIXIE: Umm, yea. Just reading.

URBAN BELINO: Well. I'm Italian.

URBAN PIXIE: Oh. OK. I love Italy. I went on my honeymoon to Amalfi and Rome. We loved it there.

URBAN BELINO: Yes. It is very romantic place. There is much amore in that place. But you must see the countryside, where I am from. Much more amore. I am from there. It is very sensual (he loudly sips his cappuccino while staring fiercely into her eyes).

URBAN PIXIE: We do plan on going back together someday. Before we have children. Maybe we'll visit the countryside. (She rustles her paper and lifts it between them and continues reading.)

URBAN BELINO: I see. Your husband, does he work it out?

URBAN PIXIE: Does he what?

URBAN BELINO: Your husband. Does he lift the weights? (He flexes his arms, his big muscles bulging in tightly wrapped Lycra.)

URBAN PIXIE: Uh, sure. Yes, all the time. He is very strong.

URBAN BELINO: How much pounds can he curl? (He continues flexing.)

URBAN PIXIE: Umm, two hundred pounds. He's very strong.

URBAN BELINO: Two hundred pounds? No. That is impossible. I have trained all over the world and no one can curl two hundred pounds. That is not possible. He is lying to you.

URBAN PIXIE: Well, I'll ask him tonight when I go home. (She sighs and puts her hand to her forehead.)

URBAN BELINO: Oh. Yes. Well. I lay wood.

URBAN PIXIE: Excuse me?

URBAN BELINO: I put the wood floors down. I make my own business. Very successful company.

URBAN PIXIE: Oh. That's nice. I love wood floors. I just hate wall-to-wall carpeting, especially linoleum.

URBAN BELINO: Yes. Of course. It is very expensive. You are like many beautiful women who like the expensive things. In my country we call you bella donna.<.i> You have verygood taste.

URBAN PIXIE: Well, thank you.

URBAN BELINO: Yes. I can afford many expensive things. I have many men working for my business. It is very difficult to make them work hard. I make very hard work, and I am very good, and I want other people work hard and be very good. Sometimes I yell at them. Sometimes I fire them. Like the Donald (he flashes his eyes at her wildly).

URBAN PIXIE: I see (she rustles her paper again and tries to read).

URBAN BELINO: Yes. But I am very kind and generous man. I am very humble with them. I buy them lunch and feed them when they work for me. I buy them lunch because I remember when I was poor immigrant working very hard. They are very grateful to me and respect me very much.

URBAN PIXIE: You must be very proud.

URBAN BELINO: I am. Yes. Very proud. So how do you work? What does bella donna do?

URBAN PIXIE: (She groans loudly and resigns herself to finishing the conversation.) I'm a designer. I design textbooks.

URBAN BELINO: Yes. That is very strong. Very sexy. You will like the design of my sports cars. I have many sports cars. They are very beautiful and very fast. I make lots of money so I buy many fancy things. Perhaps I will ride you in one of my many sports cars.

URBAN PIXIE: I don't think so.

URBAN BELINO: Tell me, can I have your telephone?

URBAN PIXIE: What? I told you that I'm married.

URBAN BELINO: Yes. I am married too (he smiles mischievously).

URBAN PIXIE: But I love my husband.

URBAN BELINO: Yes. And I love my wife.

(Utterly exasperated, Urban Pixie throws her paper down and leaves the table.)

(2005-10-25)

Also by Fred Sasaki

The Agony and the Ecstasy
What, are you just some pony-boy? Some pretty pony-boy? What are you, a pretty pony-boy?
(2005-10-04)

The Agony and the Ecstasy
If you don't say that it's the best hand job you ever got, I'll give you your money back
(2005-09-27)

The Agony and the Ecstasy
As I see it, the only way you can get even is to give her equally bad and unsatisfying head
(2005-08-23)

976-POET
It's no surprise that a poet could become addicted to or at least have flings with phone sex
(2005-07-26)

Animals of the Wild
(2005-05-24)

The Agony and the Ecstasy
(2005-04-26)

Conversation Hearts
(2005-03-15)

Mother, May I?
(2005-02-08)

Fiction Review
(2005-01-04)

Nonfiction Review
(2004-12-14)

Okay life
(2004-07-20)

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