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features

My Crack-Whore Stalker

Michael Workman

In the last week alone, I've received more than 100 text messages on my cell phone, three different Hallmark cards and four post-midnight (often at 2 or 4am) voicemail messages. I don't have to guess who it is. I know who it is. It's my crack-whore stalker.

I'll call her Tammy. I met Tammy in a college class on linguistics, a flighty blonde with a trashy sense of style who walked boldly up to me on break while I was smoking and just, well, started talking. It was a few years after I'd moved to Chicago from Indiana and I simply figured her for a new transplant too. She was mercurial, fidgety and clearly high-strung, but I listened politely. I didn't know many people here yet, so it was nice to have someone to talk with. Then, a few weeks into the class, she disappeared and I thought that was the last I'd ever see her.

Until she called one night a few weeks later asking if I wanted to hang out. Sure, why not? We decided to meet up for coffee. Back then I spent a lot of nights in coffee shops, reading philosophy and Russian lit, slogging through thick volumes by Kierkegaard, Adorno and Tolstoy. We met up several nights. Again and again, I mostly listened. I don't remember what we talked about; I just remember she liked hearing my thoughts on what I was reading at the time and a vague sense that she admired my tenacity, my sense of dedication to my studies. I likewise admired her indiscretion, her willingness to dismiss it all with a wave of her hand; I liked her air of licentiousness. That is, until one night she invited me over to her place, where she showed me some photographs of her dressed up in a black wig, posed nude. What were these for? Her job. Oh. Uh huh.

What job is that, exactly? "I'm a call girl." She said. She showed me the website for her agency, where her face appeared as one on a grid of girls available for escort services. She offered "in-call," making appointments for men to have sex with her in her own house. I booked it out of there, fast. At the time, I found myself afterward trying to justify my uneasiness. Sure, prostitution's illegal, but I'd just spent the better part of two full terms poring through texts on queer culture, debating the rights of sex workers with my professors. I realized I was acting intolerant and resolved to not prejudice my friendship with her. That's why, a week later when she called me again, I accepted her invitation to come out to a little party she was throwing. I had plans to go out with some friends that night anyway, and we were in the mood for fun. I rounded up the gang and we set out.

After a few bars, we arrived at her house. It seemed to happen in slow motion, my eyes panning the dark rooms as we were led in. Is that a glass pipe? Is that guy shooting up? Then she asks us: "You want to try some crack?" Holy shit. Holy shit. Tammy had invited us to a crack party! Stunned, we meekly accepted some beers instead, feeling like the minor leaguers hanging out in the major league locker room. We were in way over our heads. Two of my friends frantically waved me outside. I thought I was going to catch hell. But once out the door, one asked me: "Should I do it?" I didn't know how to respond. "I always said if I had a chance, if it was just offered to me for free," he said, "then I'd do it." I lit a cigarette and watched my two friends, one of them still a very prominent artist in Chicago, wrestle for all of a millisecond with their consciences. Then, they both decided to smoke some crack.

After that, I decided to put some distance between Tammy and me. And for a while it seemed to actually work, not returning calls or answering emails. She went away. Eventually, I met the girl who would become my wife and we moved in together. We got engaged, threw a few parties. Time passed, I opened a used bookstore on Ashland Avenue putting up my own collection of philosophy books as starter inventory. My fatal mistake: one day, Tammy just walked in out of nowhere. With a dog wearing a colostomy bag (the dog, not her). I was stuck minding the counter as she updated me on the highs and lows of her heroin addiction. She was still hooking, though she'd been busted once. I nodded, pretending to add up receipts. But it was no use. After that day, she kept coming. I was helpless to escape. Yet, she wasn't really doing anything wrong, so I resigned myself to the situation. I told my wife about her and we decided to just keep an eye on things. Then one day she called when I wasn't in, looking to speak with my fiancee, who happened to pick up the phone. Tammy, who knew at the time that I was engaged, asked my wife if she'd mind if I married her instead. Her rationale? "It's Sadie Hawkins Day," she explained. My fiancee hung up the phone, seething.

The next day, Tammy showed up in a panic while I was sitting around the store with friends, her roommate in tow. I'd heard about her roommate, but the reality was stranger than anything I'd previously imagined. A dwarf, blind in one eye who walked with a cane, dragging a malformed foot behind. I had to wonder if David Lynch was filming. I calmly explained that she'd insulted my fiancée, and insisted as politely as I could that she was no longer welcome in the store. We exchanged a few parting words and she finally, reluctantly acquiesced, the dwarf sizing me up from across the room the whole time. He grunted, turned, they left.

And that was it. Until January of this year when she once again, from out of nowhere, called me on my cell phone. At the time, the interns at the magazine I work for were in the habit of handing out my cell number to people because I was taking a lot of business on the move. When I heard her voice, my heart sank. She told me she'd moved out of Chicago, back to her native Omaha. That she's still desperately in love with me. And so on and on. At that point, Tammy officially earned the title of what's referred to in the field as a "simple obsession stalker." According to the National Center for Victims of Crime, online at http://www.ncvc.org/src/help/cyberstalking.html, that's a person with whom the victim has had some previous personal interaction. It's scary stuff, the descriptions of how the "victim literally becomes the stalker's primary source of self-esteem," and how when lost it becomes an imperative, sometimes violent, to recover the "lost possession."

Since that initial phone call, her fanatic behavior has slowly built up to a crescendo of desperate communications. Yesterday, she called and left a message saying that her mother's now finally ready to meet me. Every night, a slew of new text messages. Matter of fact, as I'm typing this article, my cell phone beeps. I pick it up. Four new messages. In one of them she begs me for an email and calls me a prick for avoiding her. It's clear now that this will never end. But it must stop. I have to admit it. I have no choice. It's finally time to call the police.

(2005-07-26)




Also by Michael Workman

Eye Exam
If there's any single art form constantly in jeopardy of not having enough practitioners, it's sculpture
(2005-07-21)

Eye Exam
This past weekend prompted pangs of despondency during a visit to the not-for-profit Gallery 312's clearance sale, held in a room in a building at 845 West Fulton Market where it has lived since being displaced from its original home at 312 North May Street
(2005-07-19)

Eye Exam
Dan Flavin has been dead since 1996 when he left us at the age of 63, and it's just now that a retrospective of his work is making the rounds
(2005-07-05)

Eye Exam
"Drawn Out," a new exhibition at the University of Illinois Gallery 400, examines the capability of drawing to move between artistic mediums
(2005-06-28)

Eye Exam
(2005-06-24)

Eye Exam
(2005-06-15)

Tip of the Week
(2005-06-09)

Eye Exam
(2005-06-09)

Eye Exam
(2005-05-24)

Tip of the Week
(2005-05-24)

Eye Exam
(2005-05-10)

Eye Exam
(2005-04-26)






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Copyright Newcity Communications, Inc.

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