Jamie Murnane

They say interoffice relationships never work. But who are they, anyway?

I first met Janette months before we started working together, when she came to interview for an open position that would have us working together--closely. There was an instantaneous attraction. I knew it because I couldn't look her in the eye when I said hello and continued walking sheepishly to the restroom--head down.

When she was hired and we started working together, it was clear that there was "something" there--the kind of something that twists your stomach into butterflies-on-acid knots. She was a flirt. But I didn't know to what extent I should take her flirtation. Maybe she's just being friendly, I thought. I mean, just because she unabashedly bit my arm when I leaned over her computer to help her with something didn't mean I was going to jump to happily-ever-after conclusions--no matter how much I wanted to. Considering antics like this, the first few weeks of work together were a rollercoaster of perplexity. She likes me. She likes me not. Finally, another co-worker set me straight. He told me that Janette's flirtation shouldn't be taken as lightly as I thought it was intended. I was ecstatic but just smiled modestly to hide my excitement. I was at work, after all. And I was the boss.

"Oh, really?" I said, while walking off to do something that made me look authoritative and too busy to consider such things, when secretively, it was all I could think of.

That same night, Janette and I were talking online as we often did--which is much easier than actual old-fashioned face-to-face interaction--when the issue came up. The conversation started out as pure junior high-jinx complete with mutterings (or the typing equivalent thereof) saying, in so many words, "I know something you're not telling me but I'm gonna make you tell me yourself." It was a game that lasted well into the night when finally, at nearly 3am, the words "Damnit, Jamie, you know I'm fucking fond of you" appeared on my screen.

Maybe it was because the feelings were mutual, or because I hadn't slept in twenty-two hours, but I thought that was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. But I couldn't share it with other people we worked with, except for a couple friends of ours who were also in the midst of starting their very own interoffice relationship.

Since I was supposed to be the authority figure at our place of employment, the first few weeks of our relationship were especially off--at least at work. During the day, I tried to fill my role as the boss and do my job, while acting as though Janette and I were merely co-workers, friends at most. This is probably the part most people can't deal with and where most of the drama comes from.

I would work diligently and try to focus (I was constantly distracted by the sight of my significant co-worker) and Janette would take that as me ignoring her or being aggravated. As frustrating as it was for me to consistently assure her everything was fine, I felt the same anytime she was quieter than usual or, to be honest, simply just not paying attention to me.

This is never going to work, I thought, but I remained hopeful. Our relationship was so great outside work that I realized it was stupid to let something like the fact that we work together ruin that. It was time we got over her getting upset and going outside to smoke and me following her to see what was wrong. But, we weren't about to give up making out in the back stairwell of our building.

Eventually, it got to the point that we didn't care who knew we were together at work. It's not that we started holding hands across desks or anything--no, we were very professional--but we didn't feel guilty for coming in together in the morning or leaving together for lunch and at night. After all, we weren't the only ones: there were our friends who had finally gotten together and at least one other relationship started blooming.

It turns out that, while we thought almost no one knew we were together, everyone had anyway. After a few drinks at a work gathering, one of our co-workers said she and our boss had known for months. "You guys are so cute. You just glow. It's so obvious," she said.

So now the biggest challenge is trying to act professional when my boss comes up to me when Janette is out of the office and says things like "Aww, you miss your woman?"

(2005-04-12)

Also by Jamie Murnane

Do dogs say "cheese"?
Nacho, a spunky brown Yorkie, runs around Urban OutSitters' lower level--barking cordially as people walk through the door
(2005-03-15)

Tip of the Week
Margaret Cho has been notorious
(2005-03-08)

Beaning Christopher Walken
Christopher. Walken. Has a, peculiar. Way? Of Speaking
(2005-02-22)

Feeling Ernest
On a hot and sticky Labor Day weekend at the lakefront, the folks at Clairol Natural Instincts couldn't think of a better time to sit on plastic mats in the grass and do yoga
(2004-09-08)

Indisposable cameras
(2004-08-31)

Still curious
(2004-08-25)

'Do it
(2004-08-03)

The Naked City
(2004-07-20)

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