Andrew Braithwaite

It's Saturday morning; not particularly warm for April. The new Soldier Field, which my friend describes as "basically the same as the old stadium, if a giant UFO landed inside it," teems with little squirts, big security, and a dude in a bunny costume. Parents marvel at the amazing achievement of structural engineering, but an "isn't this place neat?" is completely lost on kids thoroughly fixated on the thought of free chocolate.

At the Chicago Park District's Egg-Stravaganza, everyone is here for one thing: sugar. Oh, and the chance to be the one of the first Chicagoans not named Jerry Azumah to sprint 100 yards down the new, pristine field.

Again, the venue's novelty is trumped by the sirens' call--Milky Ways. A thousand 6- to-10-year-olds are lined up at one end zone, while the other is flooded with candy. The barriers bulge as mothers berate their children from the stands: "No pushing!" Someone yells "Go!" over the loudspeaker. A kid who looks at least fifteen jumps out to a huge lead. The trampling is merciless. The carnage ends in less than four minutes.

Later, one kid walks by with enough candy in her sack to keep her amped right through Pentecost. Another asks his friend, "did you give up chocolate for Lent too?" and is met with an inaudible blurt from a mouth jammed full of Reese's. Poor Evan arrives too late to scramble for candy, but doesn't want to leave. "No, let's stay and watch the Chicago Bears," he pleads over and over.

(2004-04-14)

Also by Andrew Braithwaite

You're tired
Clay Vogel is giving advice. "You only get one word, man," he says in his West Virginian drawl...
(2004-03-25)

My bonnie beer
It's only been a couple of weeks now since Smithwick's, first brewed in Kilkenny, Ireland in 1710, has been available in the Land of the Free
(2004-03-18)

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