Nina Metz

"We hear Chicago loves the penis, and we're here to prove that true," says David Foster, producer of "Puppetry of the Penis," during a press conference held, of all places, at the Drake Hotel. Who exactly has this guy been talking to?

Willing to drop trou for a smile and some cold hard cash, the show's Australian creators have been displaying their wares with unblushing abandon since 1997. Now, some six years later, Chicago is presumably ready for the infamous, full-frontal, non-sexual ode to the penis, which begins its run on February 18 at the Lakeshore Theater. (The venue is, rather conveniently, located on Broadway just steps away from the Pleasure Chest.)

In the uncomfortably warm conference room, 33-year old Simon Morley and 25-year old Daniel Lewry (a likeable, obliging pair) take the stage wearing sequined Elvis capes--and nothing else. Eve Ensler may talk (and talk, and talk) about the female genitalia in her "Vagina Monologues," but leave it to the Aussies to forgo the highbrow approach and literally whip it out in front of God and everyone.

They proceed to demonstrate a few of their "installations": the Eiffel Tower, the Loch Ness Monster ("Hello there, Nessie," Morley coos), and the appetite-suppressing Hamburger. Um, Dr. Freud?

"And the cutest one (if any of these can be called cute), the snail!" Lewry says, proudly unveiling a manipulation that does bring to mind escargots.

A grandmotherly journalist sitting in the front row asks if they've ever cast someone who wasn't circumcised.

"Yes, we just found this guy from New Zealand," says Morley, "and we're rather excited about it."

Once the show is up and running, they plan to hold local auditions for guys willing to try a few Cirque du Soleil-style experiments on their flaccid equipment. Let's hope would-be puppeteers don't strain themselves in the process.

"The Puppetry of the Penis" opens February 18 at the Lakeshore Theater, 3175 North Broadway.

(2003-02-19)

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