This is particularly bogus, as A-Zone events are either free or dirt cheap, and considering that members of A-Zone go out of their way to make absolutely everyone feel welcome: An urban outdoorsman wanders in, besieges the freezer, frantically dashes around demanding everyone take ice cubes to put in their cans of beer and is politely thanked at every turn.

Luckily, the clown is but a memory after The Jugglers of Death begin. There are but a few axioms in this life, and surely one is that two men juggling upwards of a dozen daggers the size of your forearm while their partner stoically stands between them allowing one of the blades to hack off a carrot protruding from his mouth, will never get old.

Fausto of the Feast of Fools Cabaret plays an innocuous set of glammed-up covers ("Excuse me while I kiss this guy"); it's the most disarming act of the night, but serves a stern reminder that ignorance is absolutely everywhere. Between songs, Fausto fends off a heckler with, "Watch it honey, I'm pre-op." After Fausto explains that the term designates "having a lot of Vienna sausage," the heckler goes beserk, yelling knee-jerk alpha-male epithets until drowned out by what is probably the most inventive cover of 2 Live Crew's "me so horny" sample ever. Sadder still, after Fausto finishes his set and urges the audience to stick around for the headliners, The End of the World Circus, a member of said circus grabs the mic and asks "We got AIDS in here?" He answers his own question in a whimpering "feminine" voice: "Yeah, we got it right here!" So, this is how the world ends? Indeed.

Also by Joe Jarvis

NONFICTION REVIEW
Peter Conrad introduces "The Hitchcock Murders" as a "grateful fan letter" to the legendary director after depicting his first viewing of "Psycho" as the experience in which he truly lost his virginity. What follows is an interesting mix of Hitchcock anecdotes, facts and steely analysis.
(2001-11-15)

FICTION REVIEW

(2001-10-18)

NOT MILK?
The kids receive Milk Sucker trading cards, much like those halcyon Garbage Pail Kids, but carrying PETA's agenda: Pimply Patty, Windy Wanda and friends suffer from side-effects of dairy consumption. The cards are a huge hit, although the kids seem decidedly less enthused over the other proferred material, such as pamphlets documenting dairy-industry horrors, complete with photographs of hormone-riddled cows, udders swollen to the ground.
(2001-03-01)

REPAIR WORK
Though this movement has existed conceptually for some time, never before has it physically materialized in such form. And despite the discussions, the organization of reparations remains a logistical nightmare.
(2001-02-08)