It started about four months ago. I had heard that John Tesh had a Webcam in his home recording studio. John Tesh, champion of all that New Age, synthesizer melodrama; former host of "Entertainment Tonight"; second-fiddle to Mary Hart's still smokin', fiftysomethin' gams. I bookmarked the page (www.teshmusic.com/media/tcam.htm) and I still don't know why. "What's wrong with you?" my wife asked.

It's not as if I was downloading porn, I rationalized. I just wanted to see John. Bad. It was a viral celebrity infection. Days passed. Weeks. The view of the studio rotated occasionally, sometimes showing a doorway, sometimes a synthesizer with a window behind it. But never John. Not once a single Tesh sighting. Sometimes, late at night, I would crack a cold beer and head to the TESHCAM and there I would discover an empty pizza carton in John's studio. He had been there. I had missed him. Goddamn it. Finding Tesh was like looking for Waldo.

Another month passed. The mini-blinds in John's office would open and close. Papers would be shuffled. New books would appear on his bookshelf. Sheet music would appear on his keyboard. But never a glimpse of John.

Then, last Sunday morning, the TESHCAM loaded on my computer and there he was. John Tesh. I couldn't believe it. He was unshaven, wearing a backwards ball cap and a "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" T-shirt. His face looked puffy. He was on the telephone. He was eating something. When he would take a bite of the food, he would move the mouthpiece of the telephone up near his earlobe so the person on the other end couldn't hear him chewing.

I couldn't believe my eyes. It was John Tesh. I felt so good—after months, he had finally appeared. And then I remembered my wife's words... "What's wrong with you?"

Also by Sam Weller

CHEESE WHIZ
Part archetypal cheese chalet, part rock music venue (you read that right), all this place needs is Rod Serling standing in the inner lobby welcoming you to the Twilight Zone.
(2001-06-21)

ALEX ROSS' FAVES
We got to wondering: What if Alex Ross decided to pack it all up and head to his own arctic Fortress of Solitude a la Superman? What are some of the comic books and graphic novels that he would pile into his polar-bound U-Haul?
(2001-04-19)

MAN OF STEEL
Alex Ross is the biggest name in the superhero comic book business. When it comes to artists, he is the Galactus of the universe.
(2001-04-19)

THE BATTLE OF MIDWAY
The South Side's convenient and even charming little airport of yesteryear has gone bye-bye, replaced by O'Hare's cranky, homely baby sibling.
(2001-03-22)

WORD ROOTS: FIRST SPARK
(2001-03-01)

AN OLD PEANUT
(2000-12-28)

AUTHOR VISIT
(2000-09-14)

YOGI'S UTOPIA
(2000-07-13)

CALL WAITING
(2000-07-13)

NIGHT MUSIC
(2000-06-29)

STATE OF GRACE
(2000-03-30)

STATE OF GRACE
(2000-03-30)